Who Do You Need to Be?
To Become Your Own Greatest Teacher
In order to do the work we are here to do in the world, we often need to disrupt our deepest limiting beliefs and patterns.
LORDY DO I KNOW THIS.
Something I’ve been chewing on as of late is my relationship to challenge. I love solving problems, and this works well for me given that most of my public-facing roles and jobs involve teaching people how to untangle their wicked knots. I am well equipped, having spent most of my life learning how to move through my own gnarly blocks.
But here’s the real secret behind the secret sauce: pull back the curtain and I’m a human too. I learn, fail, succeed, burn the map, and inevitably find myself back in my favorite tantrum again. Yes it’s true — I do have a sexy toolbelt full of wizard tricks and teachings that have been unlocked as a result of my personal experiences and expertise earned over the past decade. I get paid to do this sort of thing for individuals and companies.
But my greatest teacher is ME 😩
People call me in to help them think differently, but how easy is it to change your mindset? Like really. For most people, the crux of their solution starts here. You might think that your problem is finding a job in a shitty economy, but I will argue that this is a red herring that will extend your struggle, not end it. Your attitude and approach influences your future actions, which inform the outcome. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It’s rarely about what we do and more often about how we perceive what’s in front of us that makes the difference.
So the most important action you can take when faced with resistance is to consciously determine how you will relate to your existing circumstances.
I’ve been thinking about the importance of context a lot lately, as it seems to be a powerful key to a lock I keep encountering. Lo, let it be known: I’m stubborn as fuck and I like to be right.
This is my achilles heel. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
The past few weeks have found me coming up against all kinds of internal resistance and external setbacks, which is usually what happens when I’m about to leave my comfort zone and do something unexpected or expansive. My ego freaks. I start telling myself stories about what’s happening and my default programming reverts to some extremely chaotic logic. A very persuasive voice inside my head tries to trick me into getting out my hammer and efforting harder.
Bang those problems into submission, bitch!!!!!
Real talk: the medicine I teach is always the medicine I need most for me. And one of the teachings that has rocked my stubborn ass (😩😩😩) is disarmingly simple: if you want something, all you have to do is GET MORE READY.
Let’s unpack that wisdom.
A lot of us, ESPECIALLY ME, tend to reach outside ourselves for the things we desire. We assess a situation from a strategic angle, determine what we have to do to get the thing, and then start taking steps toward it. But we can’t achieve a state of being that we aren’t actually, truly, inhabiting yet — that is called REACHING — and there, my friends, is where the real challenge actually exists.
Our problems, then, are not actually rocks in the path. They ARE the path, because if we want something, we must first inhabit the being-state. Not only must you internalize the belief that you are worthy of having what you want — you must demonstrate that you are ready.
Problems, in a sense, point to where we are not yet fully ready to take responsibility for the thing we want. However! If you embrace the opportunity to learn about your problem and the aspect of your situation that needs to be addressed, strengthened, or developed, you will find that the path clears itself at exactly the best moment.
Turns out your problems get you ready, friends.
They are tests, yes, but they are also incredible allies on your evolutionary journey. Problems hone your sensing and help you refine your instincts. They challenge you to step the fuck up and get brutally honest about your capacity. They will offer you critical information if you’re able to embrace and listen to what they want to tell you. Rather than complaining or getting upset or believing some bullshit about yourself because the yellow brick road to your destiny is lined with traps, welcome the opportunity to approve of your annoying circumstances, to see them as fated messages.
Here’s a crazy belief: your problems WANT you to succeed!!! They need you to be ready, in your roots and in your bones, to show up as the person you have committed to being.
When I welcome myself exactly where I am, I gain access to more self-trust. I choose to be in relationship with my challenges, because they teach me how to deepen into exactly who I am. I expand in order to meet them. I don’t yet have all the keys to all the culty wisdom closets of the universe (😩😩😩), but this teaching has profoundly shifted how I relate to what’s happening.
From that perspective, I have been able to unlock so much more possibility.
🔺
Katharine Hargreaves is a spiritual mentor, transformational facilitator, ceremonial guide, and initiated medicine womxn. Her first book, The Art of the Experiment, is a transformational manual for people who want to change their life but don’t know where to start. For more information on Katharine and how to work with her, visit her website.
